Dear Baby,
Guess what! You're a BOY! I'm so excited that you're a boy. We found out last Monday night, and I have to admit, I was surprised. I was convinced that you were going to be  a girl, I don't know why. But there was no doubting it as the radiologist lady pressed the ultrasound piece onto my tummy and we spent an hour looking at you. It was the most magical hour of my life. I laid in absolutely wonder and amazement as I stared at the screen, watching the little body that is being created inside of my own.

You're a wiggly guy. The lady kept asking you to sit still so we could get a good view of you, but you weren't always compliant. She toured us around and we got snapshots of your tiny hands, little feet, your legs, tummy and face. Silly boy... at one point we watched as you stuck your tongue out at us and then opened your mouth up super wide. What are you doing in there?!

It's crazy how small you are. She estimated you to be 10 oz and about 5 1/2 inches long. It's amazing to think that within the next few months you will go from 10 oz to multiple pounds. You've got some growing to do. I can't imagine what that means for me. I already feel like a balloon just getting bigger and bigger each day, but I've got a lot more growing to do too. And as you grow I can only imagine that means feeling you more and more. I already feel you a lot! You're kicking and squirming in there a lot throughout the day. I don't mind it though. I actually love it. It's an awesome feeling.

Sometimes at nighttime I just lay in bed resting my hand on my tummy in an effort to comfort you, and you'll respond with a punch or a kick to let me know you're still there. And on lazy Saturday mornings or days off work like today I just lay in bed waiting for you to let me know you're ready for the day. After feeling a few kicks and punches, I'm ready for the day too. You and me are going to be buddies, I can tell. 

Daddy's been gone the majority of the past week, and he won't be back until the end of this week. He's only felt you kick once or twice, and they were so small he questioned whether it was you or if it was my breathing or heartbeat. By the time he comes home maybe you'll be a little bigger and he'll be able to feel you for sure.

I wonder what you'll look like. I sure hope you have your daddy's sparkling blue eyes. His eyes are my favorite. Then again I suppose I would be fine if you got my brown eyes. I bet you'll be tall and skinny like your mom and dad. I hope you'll like to play catch with daddy, and play cars and get dirty; play sports, ride your bike, play Cowboys and Indians; be an example to your younger siblings one day; be a Mama's boy; grow to be a man just like your father.

He and I are excited to have you in our family. We're getting your room all ready for you, and preparing to make our house a place you will feel safe and loved. We want to be good parents, and raise you to do the right things.

I'm scared as heck to bring you into this world in the state it's in. It's scary. I'm nervous that I won't prepare you well enough on how to grow up in this world. I'm scared that I'll fail, that I won't be good enough, or that I'll let you down. I'm not perfect. But I'm going to try to be the best Mom that I can... to teach you, to help you, to love you.

We haven't met you yet, but Mommy and Daddy already love you so. 

This was right after we found out we're having a boy :)

I think this shot is so precious of him crossing his legs. Such a cute little guy. 

Lookin' humongous right after our ultrasound. 

 19 weeks 

 19 weeks.